We don’t wonder what it costs the person holding everything together to keep holding it together. We just hand them something else to hold.

This week we’re talking about the strong ones and what they really need to survive.

Hello, hyper-independence.

This trait is among the most common I see in achievers and survivors. And it causes way more problems than it solves.

This week, we’re talking about how to replace this way of functioning with something that sustainably works.

If I strip away the capability, the achievement, the relentless productivity…take away the hard work and the hustle, and the grit — what’s left?

The Monarch Method starts with that all important question. With claiming your identity. Your true identity.

Not the one you built for survival or the role you’ve been playing, or the capable, competent, always-handles-it person the world has come to rely on.

But, your deeper identity. The one that actually informed your survival skills. The part of you that knew you needed something you didn’t have & went about building it with whatever raw materials it could find. The you – behind what you survived.

You did everything that needed to be done. You checked the boxes, created value, saw your friends, maybe even received some positive feedback on your work.

You’re good at what you do. Known for being good, in fact. The person everyone relies on to get the hard stuff done. The default adult in every group.

Your reputation used to make you proud. But, you stopped feeling accomplished a long time ago. Now, you’re just playing the role. Living in the skin of who you used to be.

And, spending most of your time – active, productive, achieving – but somewhere on a continuum between frustrated and numb.

You are surviving your life. Running it on sheer will, momentum, & survival skills. And, like most high achievers, it’s all you’ve ever known.

Your nervous system is driving your reality whether you realize it or not. But, it doesn’t have to stay in charge.

This week, we’re talking about how to reprogram your nervous system to learn the crisis is over.

high achievers start to notice familiar symptoms getting louder than before.

Weight gain

Stiff joints

Generic inflammation

Autoimmune disorders

3 AM wake ups

Chest pains, racing hearts

Minds that can never slow down

When it started happening to me, I was at the top of my professional game – the peak of my particular mountain, having accomplished nearly everything I had set out to do.