I have not traditionally been a fan of Valentine’s Day.

But, as I’ve gotten older, my perspective has changed. I still think Valentine’s Day is kind of absurd, but not because it celebrates love. Because it focuses on celebrating the wrong kind.

We spend so much time thinking about romantic love—hoping for it, finding it, keeping it, optimizing it—that we completely miss the relationship that determines the quality of every other relationship in our lives.

The one with ourselves.